Hyper-focusing on intrusive thoughts.

You know those moments when a thought pops up in your head and it’s there to stay for days on end? Sometimes you manage to keep yourself occupied enough to forget about them but the second you let your guard down.. your brain tells you “This is the thought you wanted to forget btw” and you’re back wishing you could wash your brain with acid.

Because. That one thought. Is driving you crazy.

It’s usually an unreasonable thought. Silly, stupid, without any proper reasoning. And you know it’s pointless thinking about it. But your brain won’t stop. It’s constantly telling you “this is the thought you have to stop thinking about”.

But you can’t. Because your brain keeps reminding you. Your brain is constantly triggering you into focusing on that one single thought. The one you wish you could burn from your memory. Because it’s dumb. Or embarrassing. Or a reason to feel anxious. Or whatever. It doesn’t matter. It just sucks. And it takes days for your brain to finally stop reminding you about the thing you wanted to forget.

And this can cause insomnia. Like right now. And it sucks. Because there’s literally no basis for this thought. Your brain just went “what if it’s like this” or “maybe this person thinks that” and you know it’s full of shit. But that does NOT stop your stupid brain from telling you some bs that is not true. And tries to make it true. Eventho there’s zero proof. And you also know it would never be the way.

But. This damned brain. Works in incomprehensible ways. And it will not let you go. But you wish it would.

You could be taking a bath. Or have some lunch. Out try to sleep. Or just sit and enjoy the quiet. And your brain just decided to go “oh hey, did you forget this thought yet? No? Well that sucks!” And you just want to scream in anger.

I wish I could turn this function off. It’s rubbish. I’m tired, I want to sleep, not think. 😩

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