I think I’ve almost broken yesterday evening. I want to improve but I’m held down by the shackles of my past, the trauma’s of my youth. I’m trying so hard but i feel like I’m getting nowhere. I always go back to just being alive. Of all the things i want to do i have done none.

What have i accomplished? What did i actively do to get where i want to be?

I feel like a failure.

I’m tired of holding it all in. I can’t keep doing this on my own.

I need to stop being my own therapist.

I need help.

I’ve contacted a therapist. Now i just need to wait for them to call me back..